Rambler – Apologies Not Accepted! [column]

When early winter (we don’t have autumn) with its schizophrenic unease plants its cold, moist arse right in the face of our lives, we tend to act a little strange.

This changing of the seasons brought with it a kerfuffle, a series of brain farts and the inevitable apologies.

But the apologies were neither here nor there. Just like the early winter.

Both NBC, through its director general (DG), and DTA president McHenry Venaani had to seriously back-paddle when the backlash of their foolish statements caught serious flak.

McHenry Venaani attempted to apologise on Facebook on Friday morning after his statement made in National Assembly early last week got him spanked all over social media. He committed the mortal sin of pissing on a dead man’s grave when he said the late Kaptein Hendrik Witbooi is overrated.

Venaani questioned why Witbooi was praised more than other deceased leaders who, in his opinion, contributed more to the country than Witbooi.

“Let’s stop this overrating,” he said in Parliament.

“As a senior leader of our republic, I should have used a better word than overrated! Thus I unreservedly apologise first to his memory as our revered leader and to all Namibians and in particular the great Nama people! I thus offer retraction of the word overrated and humbly apologise as my intent was not the persona of Auta but a matter of recognition! My sincerest apologies.”

Only, I don’t think the apology was sincere. I think Venaani’s apology stems from the fact that there’s an election heading our way. Sincere politicians are as common as emotionally mature Arsenal fans.

Sincere politicians just before elections are even less rare. And who died and made him a senior leader?

His Witbooi slip shows he’s but a snot-nosed brat learning the ropes.

“I wish to profusely apologise from the bottom and ceiling of my heart to the people who were personally and as a group offended by our comments on the Henties Bay plots. We are here to serve all Namibians and hope that they will return to viewing NBC content after a weekend long boycott,” read another ‘apology’ from one Albertus Aochamub.

The NBC director general reacted to Job Amupanda’s band of repositioners crying foul over an ad posted on NBC’s Facebook page stating “you don’t need a plot in Henties to be part of the Namibian house… just an NBC decoder will do!”

NBC has been running these ads trying to promote their decoders on social media with various not-so-witty messages making Facebookers chuckle for a few seconds before scrolling on. I don’t know if anyone would buy their decoders, though. People like good content and good content on NBC is as rare as sincere politicians.

This attempt at an apology was up briefly on his Facebook page. Thanks to screenshot, the world could see it before it mysteriously disappeared like NBC’s signal from a live broadcast.

Maybe the dagga I’m smoking is laced with magic mushrooms but I see several layers of sarcasm in the ‘apology’.

Job Amupanda quickly replied “apology accepted. We are not a joke” before his Affirmative Repositioning (AR) responded, rejecting comrade Aochamub’s apology.

The AR (can we please find another name for it?) group claimed NBC used taxpayers’ money to mock “the gains of AR leadership” in Henties Bay. They further said NBC “opportunistically told Namibians that their decoder is more important than houses”.

They also said blah, blah, blah, called Aochamub names and said Namibian youth decided to buy GoTV instead.

Cue NBC’s so-called creatives to start attacking GoTV with their now boring ads.

What shocked me the most was that a man who studied in the UK could write such a Standard 5 Bantu-education-like love letter type apology. Tae xa ceiling of my heart?

Over the weekend a few other Namibians also posted their spin on NBC’s drab ads. Some were actually much more entertaining than the originals. One that caught my eye, particularly for its wit, was “watch NBC? I’d rather listen to Armas Amukwiyu rap in Chinese… Go buy your side chick a China Town phone. Don’t spend your N$199 on this”.

Another one read “have they called your hero ‘overrated?’ Compared to our decoder he is positively underrated… Even if you go on your knees and apologise, it still remains overrated. And we don’t need Parliament to tell us that”.

Yet another one read “you don’t need to hit your head against the wall to sustain brain damage… Just watching NBC will do… Don’t waste your N$199. Rather go spend it on alcohol”.

Apologies not accepted!

I think both Aochamub and Venaani should apologise for those limp-d*cked attempts at apologies.

Winter is coming… Can it please come with a little more discontent? Can I get a beer and a fist fight?

Source : The Namibian