Rambler – We’re Everybody’s Bitch [column]

This is not an April Fool’s joke. It’s way too late and I’m way too old for that shit. This is what our Lukas said about Namibia’s place in the world and our foreign policy, at the State of the Nation address last week.

“We are an African country whose destiny is intertwined with that of our continent.

“Our foreign policy is anchored on the promotion of international peace and security, the peaceful resolution of conflicts, and defending what is just.”

But the world we live in has become so mired in the absurd, the surreal and hyperbole that it’s difficult to differentiate between fact, fiction and just plain bullshit.

Here’s what I think our foreign policy is really about:

We pull our pants down, grab our ankles and… wait… look around to see if it’s North Korea or China’s turn before we close our eyes to the evils of the rest of the world and grab our ankles so that the wise men from the east or anyone, who once upon a time pledged a rusty old AK47, have their way with us.

And here’s proof:

Exhibit A

A North Korean company is suing us for not giving them a tender!

The Namibian reported earlier this week that a North Korean company that has carried out showcase construction projects for Government at a cost of hundreds of millions of Namibian dollars has lodged an urgent court case against the Tender Board of Namibia over a decision not to award another major construction contract to it.

Mansudae Overseas Projects and its Namibian partner, Econo Investments, are suing the Tender Board, the permanent secretary of the National Planning Commission, the minister of information and communication technology, and a competing tenderer, Amupolo Building Construction CC, in an attempt to stop the Tender Board from awarding a contract for the construction of a new office building for the Ministry of Information to Amupolo Building Construction.

Who told these North Korean buffoons they can behave like struggle veterans?

You can’t make this shit up. Not even on April Fool’s day.

Exhibit B

Hallo! A suggestion of nurses uniforms being manufactured here to create jobs was made last year.

Now we are buying them from the Chinese?

After mines minister Isack Katali embarrassed Richard Kamwi in Parliament last week when the health minister triumphantly announced that the Chinese will make our nurses’ uniforms, the ministry’s PR machine went into overdrive this week.

In a statement, the permanent secretary Andrew Ndishishi said they made the decision to buy uniforms and fabric from China after he led a delegation to Beijing last year and subsequently agreed to order tailor-made materials.

The two main men at the health ministry have started to look more and more like Laurel and Hardy. Are we really so high up the Chinese’s rectums that we can’t see how we deny our own people jobs?

Or maybe we should just ask…

Ndishishi said Beijing Angel Hospital Uniforms is expected to produce a design catalogue for Namibia, provide training and organise an adequate skills transfer to Namibian companies to be responsible for manufacturing all uniforms in the country. Really?

Will the skills transfer be as effective as in the construction industry where a North Korean company, having clinched so many government construction jobs, is now suing us for not giving them more jobs.

Until when?

Exhibit C

A New Era report stated that Namibia chose to abstain from voting on the United Nations General Assembly resolution on the affirmation of the territorial integrity of the Ukraine and condemning Russia’s stance on Crimea, saying voting is not the solution. The parties involved in the Ukraine standoff should rather be given the chance to find a lasting solution of their own, is the Namibian standpoint.

How the flying f*^#ing f*^k do we, the patron saint of difficult struggles, the embodiment of the underdog choose to press our fingers in our ears, pull up the front of our dirty underwear to cover our eyes and shout ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba baaaaaaaaah, while Russia bullies everyone who doesn’t want to play with their ball.

This is the worst case of kicking the little guy in the ribs while he lays in a pathetic bloody heap in the sandpit calling for his mommy after a bout of bullying by Russia. We unashamedly play Russia’s halfwit wingman on the playground by looking the other way.

By enabling the bully we are becoming lower than snake shit’s shadow.

Exhibit D

Various media reported that a summit between the European Union (EU) and African states has been met with controversy and rejection. Zimbabwe and South Africa decided that their leaders would not attend the meeting in Belgium.

Why? Because Robert Mugabe’s wife Grace (affectionately known as Gucci Grace in Zim because of her love for bling), was denied a visa.

Namibia decided to send our frequent flyer, Prime Minister Hage Geingob to the event. It’s not clear if President Pohamba boycotted the trip because Gucci Grace was denied a shopping opportunity. If true, it would be a crying shame.

I thought we were hoeka dumped as Zim’s bitch.

By allowing the big boys and our friends to treat us as their middle of the month Wednesday night booty call we shame ourselves and the ideals we used to aspire to.

We must come right!

Source : The Namibian