Single Parenting – the Joy and the Pressure [analysis]

WINDHOEK – With all the responsibilities one can get, nothing can be parallel to responsibilities that come with single parenting.

It is not an easy job to do for a single mother, especially for young mothers in their early 20s who have to work and study at the same time. But whether you have a responsible father for your child, the burden of responsibilities still lies heavily with the mother and one have to keep some sort of equilibrium between parenting, work, study and social life. Single mother Caroline Katambo, a full time Assistant Branch Administrator at Bank Windhoek and first year Economics student at the Polytechnic of Namibia, decided to take her one-year-old boy to her mother in Otjiwarongo due to the pressure of work and school. “I just cannot trust nannies or day-cares with my small baby, that is why I sent him to my mother for the meantime until he is at least old enough. But every month I make sure I have money to travel to Otjiwarongo to go see my son because I cannot endure the infuriation of my son growing up not knowing that I am his mother,” says Katambo. Katambo says she wants her child to call her ‘mom’ as he grows and that is why she makes frequent visits to Otjiwarongo to see him and spend time with him. She further states that she used to have more than enough money to spoil herself rotten until her situation turned around when she got pregnant.

TV and radio personality, Helena Ngaifiwa, is a single mother to a six-year old boy. Just in as much as her job demands much of her time, so does her little man. “For me it is hard and stressful but it is achievable. The hard time comes in when you have to be not only a mother to that child but also a father at the same time. There are certain things that a child needs to hear and do with his father but being a single mother you have to do it all. As a mother you ask yourself so many questions. Am I doing it right? Will he grow up to be a dignified person? You always have fear that maybe somehow somewhere you are not doing it right,” says Ngaifiwa.

Ngaifiwa adds no matter how much work load a person has, a mother needs to spend time with the child. “All you need to is to plan your time and use it appropriately. I have a very busy work schedule but I make sure I make time for my boy,” she further says when a mother gives a life, she should be able to understand that her life has changed completely, “and that is what most people fail to understand. You are now not only responsible for your own wellbeing but also for that of your child as well. You cut on certain aspects of your life just to spend some quality time with your child. If you used to come home at 03:00 in the morning when you were single, giving birth changes the whole situation,” she says.

Philla Ngaujake, a single mother of two children, aged 7 years and 2 years, describes her experience as being a tough one having to raise two kids on her own. “I have to work and take care of my kids. My mother is a pensioner and she also needs a bit of care, so I cannot leave my kids with my mother at all time. I have to work and after I knock off I have to attend to parents’ meetings and school functions for my older kid. My social life is completely cut out because there is no time and all the money I make is reserved for my kids,” says the 27-years-old Ngaujake. Written by Staff Reporter

Source : New Era