Offbeat – 15 March 2013



Next time Uncle Offbeat predicts something, you listen nicely, you hear. Uncle Offbeat listens to those heretics in white lab coats, and when scientists get nervous Uncle Offbeat gets nervous as well, no matter what anybody, and especially not anybody called George W., has to say.

You see! I was right! Oh ye of little faith! Here at the end of summer, if Europe will just send some of the cold this way so that we can have a damn winter, we can all believe in climate change. We were all lekker gekook, nê! A whole bunch of years ago I said this would happen, and it did. Good thing George W. Bush and his advisors aren’t around to say otherwise, or half of everybody would be out trying to regrade their garden thermometers.
Climate change is real. Variable weather means variable weather, and what that actually means is the weather gets weird. We had such good rain a couple of years back that Namibians actually complained that it was too much. We had snow in the Namib, two years running. This year it was so hot I am told that when you shot a gemsbok you didn’t have to hang the meat out to dry before the biltong was ready. The only other thing that could be more variable would be a tornado.