Rambler – Stop Abusing the Bible [opinion]

Of all the things member of Parliament Lucia Witbooi could do, she decided to quote the Bible during a debate in that supposed august house. Yes, the Bible! And nogal waaaay out of context!

RDP president Hidipo Hamutenya spoke out against the proposed Constitutional Amendment Bill and said Swapo was following in the footsteps of other fallen parties in Africa. The Namibian reported that Swapo’s (who else) Lucia Witbooi joined the argument, backing the amendments with a quote from the Bible. “The Bible says there is a time for everything, and right now is the time to amend the Constitution,” she said.

So, since she gone and did it I’m gonna did, aai, I mean do it too just to prove that you can justify anything with the Bible. Just ask the South African National Party, which Swapo is doing a fine job of emulating nowadays, how to justify the most wretched shit with a poorly referenced verse.

But even for a good old non-believer like myself there are lessons to learn from the Bible.

But ousie Lucias, I’m sending you back to your Bible to read up on a guy called Jesus. You might have heard of him. Hell, you guys might even tell people you believe in Him the way you just gooi Bible verses all willy-nilly. There are a few things you could learn from this gentleman.

Jesus is quite a good example of what a leader should be. Hadago, are you listening? So we know Jesus was a martyr but it’s really not necessary to always play the victim?

He was absolutely impartial: He treated rich and poor, influential and downtrodden the same. He was kind to the outcasts and healed the sick even when it was unfashionable to do so. Jesus even had time for the filthy tax collector Zachaeus, an action many frowned upon. No, not Sacky, no one should have time for Sacky and his accent but Zacheus, the short guy who climbed into a fig tree to catch a glimpse of Jesus and his posse… .

He was righteous: He despised evil and wanted those in the service of the church to act right.

To our leaders, the Bible and I say, be a servant and a shepherd before you decide to become overlord of everything and expect everyone to bow and submit to your authority. Before demanding and shouting, ask what would my Jesus do?

I’m thinking of my boy Nehemiah who wasn’t just a visionary leader (that phrase our ruling class is so fond of but aren’t close to) but probably also the first recycler in the history of man. Nehemiah was basically a house nigger in exile. Yes, I said it! But when he heard Jerusalem was run over and only the ruins were left he set off to rebuild the walls and used all and everyone he could to achieve this, even those nancy boys who made perfumes had to help with the building. He defied the opposition of Judah’s enemies on all sides and rebuilt the walls within 52 days.

But Nehemiah was also a bit of a racist and a Jewish supremacist. Not a good colour on anyone at any stage in history but that’s none of my business.

Also, remember the story of Lazarus? No, not Ngumbilembo ya Ndakomane.

Remember how the rich man begged Abraham to send Lazarus, a malala pipe who used to tiep at the rich man’s gate and the dogs used to lick his sores on earth he was but at Abraham’s side up in heaven, to just give him a little water and how he wanted to warn his brothers who were still alive?

You don’t have to make the same mistake as this rich man and suffer the consequences. You should just listen to us when we tell you that you are barking up a wrong tree.

If this wasn’t about the Bible I would have said MPs must please stop their dick riding tendencies and start reading, and not just the Bible. But I’m not gonna because this is about the Bible.

You know you’ve messed up if the Rambler tells you to please stop using the Bible inappropriately.

Source : The Namibian

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